Today we had an experience that helped me appreciate small things in life. Last week, we got Jeff a fancy lift type chair that makes it much easier on my back to get him up and down, but there are times he starts to slide out of the chair. Once he starts sliding, it is a bit tricky to get him back in a position where I can help him. We had such an incident this afternoon. We tried many different tactics only to find him getting closer and closer to the floor which is the worst possible scenario. It was pretty much like dead weight trying to lift him back up, but eventually we were able to work together to just sit him up so that we could move him into a better position. We were actually both laughing at the predicament we were in and when we were victorious, we rejoiced. It was then that I knew I needed to write about appreciating small things.
It is amazing to me how many things I have taken for granted before. Not because I meant to take them for granted, but because there was no real reason to be aware of them. Simple things I have done since childhood like walking and seeing, eating by myself and even taking a shower or relieving myself in privacy.
Right now Jeff seems to take it all in stride. I don't know if he is just adapting, or if he realizes that it doesn't help him heal to complain or feel sorry for himself.
He does go into a bit of depression sometimes, but that is only when he feels like he cannot serve others in the state he is in. What he doesn't realize is that anyone who is near him feels the sweetness of his spirit and is blessed just to be in his presence. There is just a calmness about his demeanor that helps everyone appreciate the little things in their own lives.
Last night he pulled quite a stunt on me. As I had written previously, I had given him something to help him sleep for 2 nights in a row. He did, but he also has slept for 2 days as well. So last night I opted not to give him something to help him sleep. Maybe I should have.
He woke up for the first time in a couple of days. Unfortunately it was 2:00 in the morning and definately not a time I wanted to be awake. I could hear him calling out for me and in my effort to help him, I reached out to calm him down and let him know I was there. But I kept falling back asleep. I woke up to him telling me he couldn't breathe, and that he needed me to help him. I checked his breathing and found he was just fine and begged him to please go back to sleep. Then he went into this whole routine about not knowing who I was, I could not be his wife because his wife would help him and not just sleep. By this time I was getting a clear message that he was playing with me and not really needing help so I just turned over and went back to sleep. About 5:00 he was still awake. This time he did ask for my help to go to the bathroom. After we got back into bed, I asked him if he had been playing a game with me. He admitted that he had just been bored and was doing everything he could think of to make me wake up.
That is just a glimpse of what it is like living with someone who has brain damage. In many ways it is like having a new baby all over again, except this one isn't quite as mobile and he talks back and is extremely honest, like telling me when I have bad breath and refusing to eat his vegatable. But doggone it he is cute and loveable. I told him today if I wasn't already in love with him...I would be now. He makes me laugh all the time.
As far as the water goes...well we tried. This is probably going to be something we will have to tap on (Emotional Freedom Technique)
We had a dear friend come over today who is a very talented energy therapist. She was able to go right to the core of many of the issues that Jeff has held on to for a very long time. I can tell that the work she did had a major effect on him because not once today did I hear him call out "what did I do, or why won't you help me?" He has also not said that he doesn't understand which is a major breakthrough as far as I am concerned. Before today, he has said that phraise probably 50 times a day.
I don't know what tomorrow will bring, but I plan on looking for and being grateful for the small things.
Chris
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