Good NIght Jeff

I really enjoy putting my husband to bed. It is just such a delightful event at the end of every day. Our routine is very similar to what we established when our children were young. It is very important to Jeff that we do have a routine, so between 9:30 and 10:00 we start the rituals.

I take him to the bathroom, wash his hands, brush and floss his teeth, and give him his night time meds. Then we go to the bedroom where with my help he stands up from his wheelchair, pivots and then sits down on the bed. One of the most important part of our evening rituals is between pivoting and sitting down. It is the nightly hug. We do the pivot dance all day long, but at nightime, we hold that position for an extra long time and whisper I love you's.

Then he sits down and has to put his trust in me as I take his left arm and hold it in mine so that he falls sidewards. Jeff does not like this part because for a moment he feels like he is free falling. Even though he is on a soft bed, to his senses, it does not feel safe and he resists it. Those times when he just falls backwards, it is much more difficult to put him in the correct vertical position.

When he is finally on the bed, I usually either sit with him or lay down next to him and we review the day. Each night I ask him what the best part of the day was. His answer is almost always the same. "Just being with you" We also discuss some of the hard things that happened during the day. His answer to that is usually something like "Everything is hard" but he is learning to adapt very well. Then we make a list of the things we are grateful for.

On his list tongight were:
1. Chris (of course)
2. His children
3. His lift chair that gives him a comfortable place to sit during the day
4. The house that keeps us warm
5. His wheelchair

We use those things then to formulate our nightly gratitude prayer. It is such a sweet experience to listen to the gratitude coming from such a pure heart. We also include gratitude for giving us strength for those things that have been hard and ask for the things that we desire, which includes a restoration of his health as well as to be instruments in the Lord's hands. Often in our prayers we will include a petition to help strengthen our belief and our faith. But mostly our prayers are just full of thanksgiving.

Sometimes Jeff goes right to sleep, other times like tonight he has a bit harder time and I can hear him in the room having conversations with himself. A few minutes ago I could hear him moaning a bit and went in and asked him if he needed something. "No," he told me. "I am just trying to go to sleep". I think he is just missing me a bit and not wanting to go to sleep until I turn in as well.

Which sounds like a good plan to me. Tomorrow will be another day.

Chris