The Worth of a Soul

Today I had a very interesting experience. It's a bit hard to explain without going into a lot of detail. But in short, I had some pretty ugly memories of the past surface. It has happened before, many times. For many years when I feel myself shrinking into past memories, it has alwasy been very healing for me to allow myself to feel the emotions and then let them go. Jeff has helped the process so much just by holding me and making me feel very safe to release whatever I need to release.

Today as I felt the familiar signs of feelings begin to surge I wasn't sure quite how to cope. Jeff was aware that something major was happening to me but could do nothing but sit in his chair and listen to me. He has gone through it with me before, but I think he felt a bit helpless to know how to help this time.

But he was anything but helpless. I did the only thing I knew to do. First of all I allowed myself to feel the emotions, used EFT to release the energy attached to the emotions, then I sat on his lap and let him hold me just as he has countless times before. He stroked my head with his good hand. He whispered into my ear that he was there and made me just feel safe in his arms. It was as comforting and healing as ever.

It made me realize how valuable Jeff's soul is and made me wonder why we sometimes think the only value we have as people is in what we do rather than in who we are. Sometimes people fill themselves full of guilt if they are not accomplishing something of value or being productive as if that is the measure of their worth. But what I know now, is Jeff's very presence is comforting to me and to others. It doesn't matter if he does nothing during his day except sit in his chair and brighten my life by his smile and his silly teasing me. He has value just in being.

The worth of a soul is great in the sight of God...and in my sight as well. It does not matter who we are or what we do for a living, or what kind of contribution we make. Just our presence on the earth matters to someone.

I am grateful for this opportunity to really clarify that in my own mind because I know that the worth of my soul is great too and that I have value in just being me too.

Now for today's little miracle and the update. Jeff slept the entire night last night without the aid of any kind of sleeping aids. This morning when I woke up, it was almost a startling experience and I immediately checked to see if he was still breathing. I gave a huge sigh of relief and just allowed myself to luxuriate in the feeling of getting a delicious night's sleep, one that was so needed.

As a result of getting that kind of sleep, Jeff was awake most of the day. He only took a couple of little cat naps so he was great company to me today and extremely helpful as I said earlier.

The other thing I noticed today that gives me real encouragement is that things seem more clear to him. He can tell that something has shifted in that respect too because he does know what is going on around him and understands most of it. It is the first time he has noticed any noticeable change in himself so that was a big plus.

We also made an agreement about the water and he was much more cooperative.

I am grateful.