Today I took Jeff to the doctor. It was the first time I have really had a chance to ask the questions I needed to ask. First of all the good news is that apparantly the meds that we have him on are starting to build back his immune system somewhat. It was important for us to know that the regiment he is on is actually working. So that was encouraging.
Then I asked the Doctor what to expect as far as his healing goes. I know what to watch for as far as further deterioration, but I wanted some specific signs that things are starting to shift for the good. His answer took me back a bit. He said we might start seeing some improvement 6 to 9 months from now. That was not the answer I had been expecting. I guess I just don't know that much about the brain and how it works with the body. Aparantly healing all the little neurons etc...in the brain is a verrrrrry sloooowwww process.
In my very upbeat positive attitude I had assumed that we would wake up one day very soon and his vision would be back and we could start working on strengthening his leg and arm. Afterall, I have had infections that cleared up in 2 weeks, why should this be any different? Well obviously it is and I needed to shift some of my paradigms.
I was reminded of a quote I heard several years ago by Neal A Maxwell. "Funny how we who wear wristwatches think that we can counsel the creator of cosmic clocks and calendars on matters of time" Obviously it is time to allow a slower course in miracles.
When I asked Jeff if he understood what the doctor had said, he wasn't sure. So I very clearly and distinctly helped him understand that when I tell him it might be awhile before he will start to see again, it might be several months. He listened intently and then just said quietly "ok, it is time to heal, but it will take awhile" I think he understands far more about things than I sometimes give him credit for.
There are still days that he wonders if he is dying and if it is time to go home. When he asks these types of questions I do not dismiss them or tell him to not think that way. Usually I just have him check with God and see what His answer is. Always the answer is "not yet". A few days ago when he told me that, he paused and then added "but maybe tomorrow." then he flashed me that crooked grin of his that let me know he was teasing me.
Each day brings new gifts to us. This day brought us the gift of our daughter Charla. Our son Jason was supposed to be here tonight as well, but he was on a delayed flight and ended up spending the night in Salt Lake. Oh well, that just gives us something to look forward to tomorrow. After all according to cosmic clocks, one more night is just a blink. Six or nine months can be a blink too.
For now I will just be grateful for each new day and will just keep on blinking.
2 comments:
Chris;
I think this is wonderful - its awesome to hear how you deal with each and every day - and how positive you are - being positive is very healing in and of itself -
As I read about the 6 to 9 months for healing I was reminded of a time when Richie was 3 (now 26) and he fell off of a brick barbecue - he fell about 6 feet landing on the back of his head - it sounded like dropping a watermelon on cement - he had a pretty serious concusion and spent a night in the hospital - but the dr told us several times that it would take 6 months for it to heal completely - I thought that sounded crazy - about 4 months later he went over the handle bars of a tricycle hitting his forehead on the sidewalk - it reinjured his brain and we spent another 6 months protecting his head from more injury - That was for a bruise - that is what a concusion is, a bruise on the brain -
Jeff's is more serious than a bruise - so I would totally expect it to take the 6 - 9 months to heal - just wanted you to know the brains healing is a long steady process which gets set back very easily -
Jeff is so very lucky to have you for his eternal companion - your service is such an example to me - I appreciate all that you do -
Love, Rhonda
Rhonda,
Thanks so much for your insight into this. It helps to have some other perspective. Of course, I would much rather have all the healing and learning have taken place yesterday so I could get on with my life. I once said that I never would have made a good pioneer, because I would have wanted to run across the plains and then dropped dead from exhaustion once I finally got to my destination.
Patience...I am learning patience.
Chris
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