I got an sweet email this morning from a dear friend of ours who is very concerned about Jeff. It was full of comfort and wisdom. She made this comment "I hope that God holds your soul in a cocoon of peace until the proper time for you to deal with this unbearable situation". As I read this I had a most interesting reaction. I looked at Jeff and thought, this isn't unbearable. For the most part it is very sweet. (I said for the most part).
It made me begin to ponder the word "unbearable" I used to believe that the Lord would never give us more than we could bear. This type of thinking allowed me to put blame on God for every challenge that we face in mortality rather than accept responsibility for the things we have created by our own thoughts and actions. God as I see him now is not interested in micromanaging our lives. I see him more as the cheerleader, the support, tacche rule givear, and the enforcer. He allows us to have our agency or free will but he does not make good things or bad things happen to us. The way I see God's role in my life is to guide me, direct me, comfort me and support me during tough times.
As such, nothing is unbearable if we seek his assistance. On the other hand there are some things that I cannot imagine...and would be unbearable to me.
I cannot imagine living a life full of regret and resentment.
I cannot imagine living a life full of anger and a heart unwilling to forgive
I cannot imagine believing that this earth life is it all there is
I cannot imagine not having hope
Our circumstances right now are difficult and very challenging, but they are by no means "unbearable". We have gifts given to us on a daily basis that helps me cope with the demands.
My sister and her husband and daughters stopped by to see Jeff this evening. It was delightful to see him come to life and thoroughly enjoy their company. My niece took her 4 month old baby and let him hold Jeff's finger. Jeff just grinned. He loved it when the girls sang to him. It was just a sweet experience all the way around...very bearable.
Earlier in the day the hospice nurse was here to fill out the mountain of paperwork. We were almost done when I heard my name being yelled from the other room. Now most people would not get excited about their husband yelling their name like that throughout the house. But me, I was thrilled. You see, Jeff hasn't spoken my name for several weeks now. He knows who I am, but for some reason names are one of those things that he just can't get out.
When I asked him what the problem was, he said "nothing". I asked him if he was bored to which his reply was yes. He could hear us talking in the other room and really wanted us to come back to where he was. Just hearing him call my name was like a soothing ointment.
These are the kinds of tender mercies that make this life one that is not unbearable, but one rich in adventure, experience and wonder. We never know what tomorrow will bring. It is way exciting.
As for learning how to work through situations that seem unbearable, the greatest advice I can give anyone is to cast your burdens on the Lord and let him lighten your load. It makes all the difference in the world. Each day when new challenges arise, I listen with my heart and I hear Him calling my name, promising strength, wisdom, and guidance.
My only job is then to receive.
This is what makes my life far more than just "bearable" It makes it rich and fuliffing.
Chris
No comments:
Post a Comment