On The Rack

One of the most unique parts of our relationship has been Jeff 's interpretation of what my purposes in life are as well as his purpose in my life. According to him, one of my purposes is to send plants speedily to the Spirit Realm. In other words, houseplants and I do not get along. I just end up killing them. And according to the wisdom of Jeff, one of his purposes in my life is to make me stretch. Now in order to get the full visual of how he said this, the word ssstttrretchh is fully exagerated and he has always let me know how important this stretching thing is.

To be honest, I have never really understood exactly why my stretching seems to be important to my husband. It seems to be something he thinks must be good for me. But frankly, stretching is not something I do easily. I have done yoga in the past in hopes of making my body a bit more flexible, but I can't say that I have truly enjoyed the experience.

So what is it about stretching? I think Jeff's interpretation for me is about growth and having experiences outside my comfort zone. Well let me tell you, I am stretching. In fact, today I told him I felt like I have been put on the rack, you know that ancient torture device that literally pulled people apart. I suppose I am growing from all this, but how I long for my old comfort zones.

One of the things that keeps me stretching is the fact that I never know from one day to the next what new challenges we may be facing. I am also really discovering I am stretching in areas of faith and hope and letting go and trusting God. Two months ago if someone asked me about those areas, I am sure I could have given them quite a convincing lecture on my philosophy in these areas. But this new challenge has really stretched me to look inside at the core of my belief system.

I want to have faith, but sometimes I don't know what that is or what I want to have faith in. I want to trust in the Lord and know that all things things will give us experience and be for our good, but exactly what does that mean? Faith would be so much easier if we knew exactly when and how everything would ultimately be resolved. But then I guess that wouldn't be faith would it. I read something today that said:
"faith is the believing that what you cannot see will come to pass"
"fear is believing that what you cannot see will come to pass"
Flip sides of the same coin. I want to choose faith, but sometimes that old fear thing is just so much more familiar.

So I guess I will let myself continue to be stretched in this area and just keep looking for the evidence every day of miracles that help to strengthen my faith.

Chris



chris