Relationships

Several years ago I read a book that had a deep impact in my life. It was called simply "relationships". I don't remember who the author was, but it began with a father and daughter talking about what was important in life and what we take with us when we go. In their discussion it all came down to one thing....relationships. There was a line in the book that said something to the effect of things are the antithesis of people. So when you have a choice to get another thing done or strengthen a relationship, choose the relationship because that is the most important of all.

The book divided the relationships into 3 categories. Relationships to self, others, and to God. When it comes right down to it, these really are the only things we can take with us. The relationship to self includes all the knowledge we acquire, the way we treat our own body, and the way we feel about who we are. Relationships with others includes friends, families, acquaintances, and people we sometimes just briefly rub shoulders with but who leave an imprint on our lives. The relationship with God is all that we believe about who we are, where we came from and where we are going. It is about trusting that there is a purpose to this life and that there is a source of love that we can return to.

I have been thinking a lot about that book lately because I have had the privilege over the last few weeks of witnessing a true change of heart. Jeff's relationship with himself has changed as he has brought forward and released so much old energy regarding the feelings he has had about mistakes he has made in the past and who he really is. I have loved Jeff for a long time. It has been awesome to watch him learn to really love and accept himself in spite of the fact that what he is experiencing right now is direct consequence of some of his choice.

We had some friends who were passing through Boise on their way to Salt Lake stop by this afternoon just to say hi and tell Jeff they love him. Last week, other friends stopped by on their way back to Washington. Tomorrow some of Charla's friends are coming up to visit. Next week other dear friends of ours are coming from Arizona. Many members of my family have come by to visit and just feel the sweetness of our home. There are others who would love to come if they could.

Why is it people feel the need come at the end of someone's life? It boils down to relationships. Over the years we have opened our home and our hearts to a variety of people both young and old. In every case, service was rendered either to us or by us and lasting bonds were forged. Some of the people who are finding ways to visit us are friends we haven't seen for many years, but Jeff left an imprint on their lives. He cannot communicate much of how he feels, but he is aware of every person who comes through our door and knows who they are. He is very grateful for the effort they made to come and visit. It is easy to see how relationships with others can come to the very forefront as it gets time to say goodbye to this earthly body.

The others category also includes family. Jeff loves his family. There is nothing but peace in his heart in regards to his family. They cannot be here to say goodbye in person, but Jeff knows their hearts and sends out his love to them and wants them to know that he feels their love and prayers for him.

Right now he just wants me and his children to stay very close to him. Our oldest son isn't here yet, but I think Jeff understands that. I don't know if he will hold out long enough for Seth to get here or not. He is tired of his body and very ready to go home but his desire is to wait until he can strengthen the relationship he has with his son before he goes.

Jeff's relationship with God is so sweet. When he first got sick the idea of going home to a Heavenly Father was not pleasant becuase he put mortal attributes on that relationship and thought maybe his father might not be pleased with him. Now he feels the love of God completely surrounding and supporting him. His understanding has increased dramatically over the last few weeks and as he has shared those things with me, my relationship with God has been strengthened.

I hope when my turn comes to go and join Jeff that I can feel totally at peace with myself, with my family, with others, and especially with God. After all, that really is the only thing any of us will take with us.

Wouldn't the world be an awesome place for all of us to live if people put relationships first and allowed healing to take place in individual hearts first, then in homes and families, neighborhoods, and across the world. We don't necessarily have the kind of power to change the world, but anyone can start by checking out the relationship they have with themself by looking in the mirror and honestly telling themselves that they love and appreciate who they are warts and all. If there is resistance to doing that, there are fabulous tools available to help them discover the patterns in their lives that are keeping them stuck and then release them so they no longer have power over them. (www,emofree.com)

We don't have to die before we can choose to live. It's all about relationships.

Chris