Today was a thanksgiving day unlike any I have ever spent in my life. I did not spend the week shopping and planning menus. I did not make sure the turkey was thawed yesterday so I wouldn't have to deal with a frozen turkey today. I did not assign each of my children tasks to help with dinner so they could feel like a part of it. Jeff did not make his famous rolls. We did not make pies, and stuffing, and sweet potatoes. Our home did not fill with the delicious aromas that mean so much more than just dinner is cooking. Aromas tie generations together and illuminate warm memories of many years past.
Its funny how one Thursday in November can bring about such interesting feelings around food. But it's not about the food. The food is only symbolic of so much more. It reminds us that families need to be nourished in order to be strenghthened. It reminds us that traditions help keep us grounded in knowing who we are so that we can press forward to become who we were ultimately meant to be. It keeps the flow of family love and togetherness moving forward in a never ending stream. When that flow includes forgiveness, acceptance, and understanding healing from the past as well faith in the future can strengthen the bonds and help to create the joy that is possible.
So with that said, let me describe our day. My son, Jason was at my sister's house for dinner. Charla went back to Spokane yesterday to spend thanksgiving there. So Jeff and I spent the day alone.
I don't have any idea what time we woke up. One of the challenges Jeff has is in knowing where he is in time and space. As a result, I very seldom am aware of time either. I made him his purple smoothy and then just lay down on the bed next to him. There isn't a lot of room there, and his left arm seems to have a mind of its own so I have to protect myself from flying elbows. But I just wanted to be close to him. We discussed all the things we were grateful for. When I asked him, his answers always had to do with others, he is just so grateful for the people in his life...his family, my family, friends, co-workers, therapists. He knows there are many praying for him and he is grateful for that.
We had a lovely time feeling and expressing deep gratitude for our bodies, minds, and spirits. I have to admit I probably had more of a lovely time than Jeff did, although he did seem to appreciate it and was very calm. He also did contribute somewhat to the conversation. Jason was supposed to bring us back some food and then sit with his dad so that I could go back over to my sister's and play games. I didn't know what time he was coming, so I didn't want to fix any other food. He finally got here around 7:00. By that time, Jeff and I were both very hungry.
The food was the same traditional stuff, but I have to admit it was just food. It was sad to miss out on being with family. But in many ways it was good for me to have quiet time just to reflect and feel the deep appreciation I have for so many things in my life. Our oldest son will be here in a few weeks and I promised I would go all out and fix our traditional thanksgiving dinner when he is here. The food is important, but more than anything else, our family needs to feel connected, not just to each other, but to all generations. It doesn't really matter what day it is. What matters most is just being together.
So today was untraditional for us. But you know what? It turned out to be ok. I ejoyed myself immensely. At least my refridgerator is not overflowing with leftovers and I don't have to try to figure out umpteen different ways to use turkey.
It was a good day.
I love good days.
Chris
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