Wahoo, What a Rush!!

For some reason I feel totally different today than I have for a long time. I think I have made some new decisions too. I have decided not to live my life as if it is a tragedy. It has been hard, harder than anything I ever could imagine, but it is time for me to move forward in my life. This doesn't mean I will neglect or abandon my husband. It only means that I am remembering a choice I made a long time ago.

Let me explain. I like to visualize having an interview with my Father and Mother in Heaven before I came into this physical experience. I can imagine my very enthusiastic spirit so excited about the prospects of coming to earth and being asked what I would like to learn. I am quite sure in my exuberance I said "EVERYTHING!!!" I just want an adventure. I can imagine my Heavenly Parents saying "are you sure?" and reminding me that I didn't have a physical body yet and did not understand the concept of pain. But I knew what I wanted and I must have been a pretty determined spirit so I assured them that yes, I wanted to learn about forgiveness, and patience, and sorrow so that I could ultimately learn about love, the kind of love that they had. I can then visualize my Father telling me that if that were the case, I would have to trust Him, not in a way that he would make things happen to me, but that when events or situations arose in my life that seemed far beyond my capacity to endure, that I would know that I could seek strength from above and it would be granted to me because I was learning the lessons I chose to learn.

I am quite certain that there was no reason for me to have anything but absolute trust in my Heavenly Parents then, so now my task now is to remember that choice.

Many years ago, there was a time when I was so angry at everything that was happening in my life that I shook my hand at the heavens and screamed that I rescinded my vote to come to this place where it seemed as if other people's agency only robbed me of happiness. I definately was not shouting for joy any more and just wanted to go home. I was a little ashamed at my tirade because it was anything but reverent, but I felt heard. It was as if my Father was putting his arm around me and saying "there do you feel better now?" And I did feel better. I realized that as my Father, he wanted me to share all my feelings with him so that he could help me work through them. In fact, I realized that the reason He sent his son to the earth was so that he could listen to me and totally understand what I was feeling, because he too had been there.

I made a choice to put my trust in the Lord then. It changed my life completely and from that day forward rather than having moments of peace, I had moments of anxiety.

Today I remembered to choose to trust in the Lord again.

Carol Tuttle gives a little scenario in Remembering Wholeness : "Maybe to my spiritual higher self, none of the [energy of pain, darkness and hardship] felt bad. Maybe moving through this energy in the physical world and coming out of it was like taking a ride on Space Mountain at Disneyland: It was dark and bumpy; it jerked me around; I felt out of control most of the time, and I wasn't sure when it was going to end. When I am on the Space Mountain ride, I love it. I am yelling and waving my hands in the air. Maybe if in our deepest darkest moments we could really grasp that our higher self is loving what we are going through, that it is like a wild ride, we would yell and wave our hands in the air. Our higher self really knows all is well and that the ride will come to an end."

So today anyway, I am feeling like shouting "Wahoo, what a rush!!" I don't have to put a lot of energy in worrying about tomorrow, or the next day, or the next. All I have to do is remember that no matter what happens, I am having the time of my life learning awesome lessons and am being given strength far beyond my mortal capacity.

So there, you have a little bit about my more of my philosophy of life. It is good for me to remember it, especially after a week like we had last week. It is also awesome to be able to breathe again.

Jeff had a great day today. We definately still have many major challenges, but he is on this ride with me and is trying so hard to figure out how to enjoy it too. The challenge for all of us is not to just wait until the ride is over to realize how much fun it was, but to enjoy every moment of the adventure.

So whatever challenges you might be facing in your life, use a new perspective and rather than moaning and complaining as I have been known to do on occasion, just say "WAHOO!!"and enjoy the moment.

Chris