Celebrating Life

This morning when I woke up, I knew that this day would be different from any other day. About 7:00 this morning, Jeff made a sound unlike any I have ever heard before. When I checked on him, he was completely unresponsive. It was a sign we had been watching for. I called hospice and asked for someone to come. Then I made the tough phone calls to our oldest son, and Jeff's family. How do you find the words to tell your child that his father is dying? Even though it has been expected, you can never really be prepared when the end really comes.

When the hospice nurse came about 10:00 she confirmed what I already knew. She said we had hours, to perhaps a couple of days. His body functions are still strong, but the process has begun. It was a day of emotion, sweetness, and miracles.

Within a short time after I made the first phone call, people started showing up. There are so many people who love Jeff. We had friends come from Florida, Arizona, and Utah. Family members from all over the Boise area came to say goodbye. All day our home was filled with love, gratitude, and (dare I say it?) laughter. It was not filled with grief. That will come. But for the most part we spent the day sharing memories, renewing love and friendship, and bearing one one another's burdens in delightful, heart warming ways.

It was so natural to open our home and welcome all who wanted to come and partake of the spirit that is here. I might have wondered for a moment whether or not it was respectful to Jeff for there not to be mourning, but then I know my husband. He could not respond, but he could hear everthing that was going on. I imagine that he is grateful that so many people could come and help celebrate his life. For life is a celebration.

This experience has been very healing in so many ways because when our daughter Emily passed away a gaping hole was left in our hearts. Her departure was so sudden that there was no time for preparation. So now we have time to reflect on the lives of both Jeff and Emily. And even though Jeff is still with us, this time has been healing for all of us.

The hospice people have been totally astounded at the way that we are handling this situation and the sweetness and support that has been here all day. It is not because we are not saddened by this situation. We will miss Jeff terribly. He has made an impact on so many people's lives. I think it is more because we truly can celebrate life because we understand death.

It is still hard for me to grasp the idea that my husband really is dying. But for today we are choosing to honor impending death by celebrating life. I have no doubt that this is the way Jeff wants to end his days here on the earth because that is how he lived.

Chris