Moving Forward-Bumps Ahead

The last couple of weeks have been a bit of a blur for me. I made a rather quick decision to attend an Easy Tai Chi syposium in Georgia. It was awesome. I was able to spend some time with both of my sons in Florida, went to the cemetery where Emily is buried, spent a lot of time walking and crying on the beach, met wonderful new friends that were true kindred sprits, had a meeting with a new business contact for the medical supply business, and became certified to teach what is called 4 minute fitness. (www.easytaichi.com)

I am very excited about teaching something that has had such a profound effect in my life. In May, I was introduced to this amazing form of mind/body/spirit exercise by a woman who just looked very physically fit. When she was asked what kind of workout she did, she told us about Easy Tai Chi and showed us the 4 minute Fitness routine. I was totally impressed and knew that it was something I could commit to learning and doing. I ordered the DVD and loved how easy but effective it was. I loved the way it made me feel, so I started sharing it with others.

A month or so ago, I began leading some of the women at church in an informal tai chi class. The results have been very rewarding, even if I really didn't have much knowledge. After last weekend, I feel very confident that I can lead a class very effecively as well as present the information about 4 minute fitness to very large groups in a seminar situation that can be really awesome for business, schools, and communities. People who hire me to teach will be seen as heroes in their organizations. I like that idea.

I am also scheduling 2 abundance seminars, one in Boise Feb 23 and 24th and one in Spokane March 2nd and 3rd. I am loving my life and am excited about feeling like it is ok for me to move forward.

There is still grief. There are still situations that I call the "knives in the heart", like getting off the plane in Tampa and being bombarded by the memories of the last time I was in that airport with Jeff right after we buried Emily. Just walking on the beach at Jekyll Island was excruciating for me because Jeff loved the beach so much. He would have lived there if he could have. That was always where he went to find serenity and peace. I walked for hours, crying as well as doing quite a bit of yelling. It was very therapuetic.

At church today we had a lesson called Tragedy or Destiny. It was mostly about death and how to view it. I was a bit surprised at my feeling and responses. It was not a sad lesson for me. Nor was it difficult to hear about other people's experiences with death. Mostly I just felt great compassion for myself as well as others. The only comment I made was that one of the things I hold on to is knowing that there will come a time when the depth of sorrow I feel now will be compensated 10 fold with a degree of joy that is almost in comprehensible to me right now. But I choose not to wait until some future time to experience joy. I believe it is available to me in any given moment if I choose to open my heart and allow it in. To me joy comes from knowledge and understanding. It also comes in other ways that helps remind me of the existence of Supreme love and a plan for my eternal happiness. I love sharing that joy with others.

It does not take away the reality of loss, but death loses its sting when I choose to believe in Christ's victory over it. This kind of faith works very well for me. It has given me strength. It has comforted me. It has given me a very different perspective on issues of life and death.
Mostly it has helped me feel deep and profound gratitude for my Savior. My greatest desire in life is to be a window to his love so that others might come to know Him and feel the peace and healing that is available to all who desire, ask, believe, allow, and receive.

It is good to feel good about moving forward. I will still be loving and gentle with my body and my spirit. Shortly before Jeff died I went to my sister's house for a brief respite. I had to chuckle at a sign on the road announcing "bumps ahead". How appropriate it was for that time in my life. I think it might be good for me to just keep remembering that yes, there will probably be many "bumps ahead". But I can still keep moving forward.

Life is good.



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